


I have Magic

by demonchild026



Series: Merlin fics [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur is an idiot, Fluff and Angst, I dont know what i am doing, Im tired, M/M, Magic Revealed, Oneshot, Panic Attacks, Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21560152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonchild026/pseuds/demonchild026
Summary: Merlin tries to tell Arthur about his magic, but Arthur doesn't know what to do.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1489961
Comments: 2
Kudos: 180





	I have Magic

**Author's Note:**

> IDK what this is but im tired and i dont want to edit

“I have magic.”

It's not often that Merlin feels this way. Like his whole body is going to explode, like the simplest words could ruin his life. And they could. Oh, they certainly could.

There was silence from Arthur. It was almost as if he hadn’t heard him – but he had, he knew that from the shocked look on Arthur’s face. Or was that a horrified look? Or a hateful one? Gods, what is Arthur hated him?! Of course, Merlin had known that that was a possibility, but he had never _realised that was an actual possibility_. What if Arthur sent him to be executed? Or worse, if he banished him, or just ignored him, to never speak and just slowly transition himself out of his life as though they were never friends, never cared about each other, never shared secrets and never asked each other for advice despite their huge class differences and never laughed together –

Arthur moved and Merlin’s attention refocused. All he did was shift his arms a little, but it was enough to pull Merlin out of his mind’s speculations. There was nothing said until Arthur just got up and left, the chair scraping along the tiled floors. There was the dampened sound of Arthur’s boots on the floor and the door creaking, but then nothing.

As soon as the door closed Merlin’s eyes betrayed him and the tears just fell like a waterfall. He soon found himself with his head in hands, not really paying attention to how it happened or even anything around him. Arthur was gone and now all he had was an empty room and a possible execution waiting for him. Who was he kidding, there was no ‘possible’ about it. Arthur probably hated him: for breaking the laws, for lying to him, for everything.

Merlin suddenly felt as though none of it was real, not the parts that mattered. Had he been manipulating Arthur? He always wanted him to become king and now he was and Merlin didn’t feel bad at all for Uther’s death and he didn’t _care_. There was no one around to notice as his legs started shaking to the point where the chair rocked with him and his breaths quickened and suddenly he just couldn’t get enough air, as though there was no oxygen left in the room. Was this his magic punishing him for everything he has done? He deserved it after all.

Arthur stood outside, just pacing. Merlin was a sorcerer. A sorcerer. In Camelot. Where magic was illegal. He could _die_.

What was he going to do? He had left the room because he needed to have an answer. He didn’t know what to say to Merlin, didn’t know what he could possibly do right now to show him that he didn’t care about the magic, because he did care. Sure, he only cared about the fact that Merlin was in danger, that he could have gotten caught any time. Gods, when had he learnt this? Who had taught him? Surely not Gaius.

He paced around a while longer, before deciding to just go back and face everything. Merlin was his friend, he should just tell him its fine. Arthur would do anything for Merlin, even change a law.

So he opened the door, slowly at first, but the moment he spotted Merlin he swung it open and raced over to him.

“Merlin?!”

There was something in Merlin’s lungs, there had to be – he couldn’t breathe anymore and he couldn’t think, or even see. There were spots in his vision, his whole body felt too light but too heavy at the same time. It all ached and got his _head_. He tried for another breath but it was too deep but there was not enough air and there wasn’t enough anything. He didn’t feel the hands suddenly shaking him and didn’t hear the voice next to him screamed his name, all he noticed was the absence of light and the terrifying silence.

“GUARDS!” Arthur screamed as Merlin fell limp in his arms. They came rushing in, but the moment they saw Merlin laying in Arthur’s arms put their weapons down. “Get Gaius, quickly!” They ran off. 

Arthur felt tears prickle at his eyes as he held Merlin up to his chest, listening to the slowly evening out breaths. This was all his fault. He just left, without a word, after Merlin had told him what was probably the most important secret of his life, and he just fucking _left_. 

Gaius entered only a few minutes later, carrying his medicine bag with him. Arthur could see the worry in his eyes. 

“Arthur, what happened?” Gaius said, crouching down next to the two boys. 

“He told me something, smithing really important, but I didn’t understand and I didn’t say anything then if left and when I came back he couldn’t seem to breathe and he just passed out and I – “

“Its ok Arthur, here, let me take a look at him. Just hold him up for me?”

Arthur gave a shaky nod and lifted Merlin a little higher until he was leaning on Arthur’s torso, practically sitting on his lap. He didn’t dare move as Gaius checked Merlin over, except to readjust him when he started slipping off Arthur, and when he wiped away some of the tears that stained his face. 

“He’s alright Arthur. He just needs rest.” Gaius stood up. “I can take him back to his room now if you wish.”

“No, he can stay here. I think I need to speak with him when he wakes up – I need to assure him that he is an idiot for ever thinking there was ever a reason to panic.” Arthur said, his voice a lot clearer than he thought it would be. He felt like a wreak right now. 

Gaius gave a small smile and said, “Alright sire,” before picking up his bag and going back to his chambers. 

Once Gaius had left, Arthur carefully lifted Merlin up and placed him of the bed. He was far too light. Arthur was not letting that continue. He pulled the covers over the boy, then just sat on the edge and just watched him, the rise and fall of his chest a reminder that everything would be alright. They would talk when Merlin woke up and they would be ok.


End file.
